Where I once was
is now
the dark interior
of that skull
that seems to watch
the passers by
that stop to read
the label: homo
sapiens circa
2000AD.
Look into my eyes
as I would, yours:
you are the effect
and I, the cause.
What? Again?...
8 hours ago
17 comments:
That last stanza has me in a stew--but I like it!
Alas poor Yorik! You knew him well?
yes.Yes.I Like This.
I shall have to think about those last two lines - not sure I can get my head round it - shall have to get together with John Hayes it seems.
The date on the skull and those last lines are sort of chilling. I like.
Yes, I get a vague sense of menace from this too - without understanding quite why.
whhhooooooooooohhooooo...
coooooooooeeelll!
Really like this.. it's like a poem a serial killer would read to his new victim just before he turned her into a patio... :-)
Dominic, this is something special, and that last verse is the endless question of origins to me. Loved it.
Where others are remarking on the last stanza, I find the "where I once was" line most intriguing.
Well done, Dominic!
Typical man—not terribly forthcoming and reserved.
(What? No handbag?)
Kat
scary and disturbing, but as Argent says, without being able to quite put your finger on why. very subtle.
thanks for sharing
crazy field mouse
I'm not entirely sure what to make of this.I think the whole pocket thing might be getting in my way.
But I love the way the last few lines resonate - You are the effect and I, the cause.
Hmmmmmm
I like this poem you made.
Thanks for these comments, everybody.
Alas poor Yorik! The skull is from The Miracle of Life, a very old book I keep close by for illustrations to scan.
And no, no handbag - just a cranium.
Cause and effect..inseperable, what's first, what's last??
Really like this...
Ooh, love this one :) Especially the end.
Chilling and cool!
I agree with John - the last stan za's the killer!
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