Monday, 7 September 2009

Love in the Café

Just across the way from me
sat a woman, drinking herbal tea.
Her other hand played on the screen
of a shiny new hand-held machine.
I drank up, left, felt very green:
it was the coolest phone I'd seen.

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Titus said...

Dominic, I love it!
I'm also very excited about being able to leave a comment at last.

Raph G. Neckmann said...

I like it!

(PS I wasn't running South Glos. Show bouncy castle :)

Heather said...

Short, sweet and very succinct. I tend to waffle on too much.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Very funny,succinct and neat, Dominic,loved it.Thanks a million for joining in.

The Weaver of Grass said...

A green phone - was it a little green woman too?

Dominic Rivron said...

Thanks for these comments, everyone.

Titus: Pleased you liked it. (I take it you've had problems leaving comments).

RGN: Thanks for dropping in! (Re the bouncy castle: perhaps it was a relation? :)

Heather: Waffle? I'd dispute that. When I write a poem it tends to be succinct. I sometimes envy people who tend to create "big" poems. I was listening to a programme on the radio about the poet Barry MacSweeney yesterday. He was so full of words, it was said (or something to that effect), that problem was "cutting them back" to make poems! He seemed to put out words like convolvulus puts out roots and twirly bits.

TFE: Pleased you liked it. Enjoyed taking part. These projects seem to stimulate a lot of creativity from a lot of people.

WG: She was not green. Actually, I can't remember what she looked like at all.

the watercats said...

Ahhh.. I wish I could master the art of short perfect things!.. have had trouble with our interweb so behind on all comments etc... will be by at some point to check out the rest of your stories :-)

Elise said...

Oh WOW, this is a great post & you have the most gorgeous site here. I had to stop by to leave this comment for you – and to say hello of course ! Your posts are creative and original and you have interesting pictures. It's all perfect ! Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes....

Lyn said...

I too fall in love with sort of know when the expiration date is coming round!

Beth said...

I wasn't sure where to put a comment, but your site is a quite lovely collection of reflections, photos, and poetry. Thanks for visiting my tattoo poem from Sunday Scribblings. Actually I don't have a tattoo, only an imaginary one! I especially liked the "otherness" of the tree in your poem. Nice stuff all around.